Week 7*

Dear Bathroom Remodel,

It seems like only yesterday that you were but a glint in The Husband’s and my eyes. Well, not really. It actually seems like a really, really long time ago. Ah, yes, I remember well those heady days of having a a working bathroom sink, shower, and kitchen sink, and a washer and dryer hooked up instead of looming largely in the middle of our kitchen. Sure, the old bathroom was gross and terribly ugly. Sure, the pantry was basically one quarter wasted space thanks to the arrangement of the washer and dryer hookups. But boy, do I ever miss having a shower.

Yesterday was a big day for you, Bathroom Remodel. Yesterday the plumbers came and reinstalled the kitchen sink. Yes, after 7 weeks of using the bathtub – without actual fixtures, only an uncapped pipe – as our only source of running water, we can once again do the dishes and brush our teeth while standing up! For a woman 6 months pregnant, this is no small thing, believe me. And over the weekend, Bathroom Remodel, we bought a dishwasher. Because the electrical work is not yet finished we can’t actually use the dishwasher, but one day we will, and oh, Bathroom Remodel, that will be a glorious day. But until that day comes, Bathroom Remodel, The Husband and I shall revel in the luxury of not having to wash dishes while awkwardly kneeling over the bathtub.

Perhaps you are wondering, Bathroom Remodel, why I am spending so much time discussing the kitchen sink and the dishwasher, when clearly those are not part of the bathroom. Well, in order to make sure you were the best Bathroom Remodel possible, we had to knock through the pantry wall and rotate the kitchen sink. This meant that the washer, dryer, about half of our kitchen cabinets, and the kitchen sink had to be temporarily relocated to various places in our apartment. So for the past 7 weeks we have been living like scavengers, as most of our dishes have been temporarily relocated to the dining room table. Our cleaning supplies and toiletries, on the other hand, are scattered throughout the apartment somewhat at random. They cover the kitchen table, my dresser, and The Husband’s dresser, and if we don’t use a specific item every day, we have no idea where it is. And because the dining room and kitchen tables are being used as storage, we have nowhere to sit and eat.

Hey, Bathroom Remodel, remember when the plumbers installed a leaky hot water pipe and we didn’t discover it until June 30th? And the plumbers were on vacation until July 5th? So The Husband and I were not only denied the possibility of a shower, but had to boil the water for our baths for five days? Those were good times, Bathroom Remodel. Good times.

I dream of the day you are finished, Bathroom Remodel. I dream of the day when the walls are up and painted, the tiles are laid and grouted, and the electrical outlets are wired and ready for use. When I am once again able to use our fabulous washing machine to do a quick load of wash, when I am once again able to wash my hands at a sink in the same room as the toilet, when I am once again able to take a shower – not a bath – and be able to completely rinse the shampoo from my hair, I will be complete. So please don’t tease me, Bathroom Remodel. Please let the electrical inspector be reasonable and allow us to install a vent that is less than 8 feet from the edge of the tub. Please let the tile man be fast and true in his tile-laying, and please let the purchasing of the baseboard moulding be swift and painless. And above all, please just be finished before the summer is over.

Because, God help me, if I don’t get to start working on the nursery soon, I am going to go stark raving mad.

^*Inspired by the many “Letters to my fetus” out there in the blogosphere.